Bakunyū J No Shōgeki (Hitomi Tanaka) mini-review

Rating: Check it

Much like the Star Wars prequels and the iPhone, Tanaka Hitomi's debut DVD, Bakunyū J No Shōgeki, is much ado about nothing. Well, not nothing (you can hardly consider boobs that huge nothing), but the hype-machine was clearly in high gear and oversold what turns out to be an solid idol DVD. Generally speaking, it's more like porn than a glamour production, and because it is like porn, it inherits all the annoying, cliched cinematography and production values of that genre. If you've ever seen the Eight series (infamous for being the turn over point for Aoki Rin, where she went from B-list gravure idol to A-list AV idol), you've got a good idea of what you're getting into with this DVD.

Hitomi herself is just shy of beautiful, but is very pretty and has, perhaps, one of the most incredible bodies to every exist in the history of humanity. She's obviously not shy about showing off for the camera and definitely knows where her meal ticket is coming from – those gigantic breasts. Indeed, much could be written about her incomparable bust – how soft they appear when squeezed, their noticeable weight as they jiggle and bounce across the screen – but a picture is worth a thousand words, so best to just to stare at them. However, while she seems like a nice enough girl, her inexperience with glamour style shoots is very apparent in most scenes – you can often catch her looking off screen for directions, staring blankly into the camera or even chatting with the off screen crew. She's better when it comes to the pseudo-porn stuff - she gives a very erotic blow job-demonstration on a banana and moans fairly convincingly during the virtual “sex” scene, but then people are familiar with sexual activity – most are not familiar with interacting naturally with a camera.

Bayunyū J No Shōgeki has eight scenes (hmmm... sound familiar?) and runs roughly 70 minutes. And for the majority of those 70 minutes, you'll find Hitomi, or an anonymous off screen staffer, fondling or touching her boobs. She absolutely cannot keep her hands off them, but sometimes with good reason – she's often topless so need to cover them with her tiny hands. Five of the eight tracks could be considered glamour-style tracks, albeit much more suggestive and with much more flesh than usual showing. The other three are closer to porn, and include a variety of simulated sex acts, including masturbation, various tit-fucking scenes, a POV virtual sex scene and a lot of groping and licking of fluids off her boobs. Is it erotic? You're damned right it is. The costuming (when she's wearing anything) is solid and designed to show off her gigantic boobs to an insane degree... I don't think she wore anything close to a correct fitting top on anywhere on the disc. Plus, her bottoms tended to be quite revealing... catching a glimpse of a camel toe is not uncommon.

However, the problem is that the director doesn't seem to realize that this isn't porn (per se). The camera work tends to be annoyingly repetitive and static, shooting far too long from a single angle and giving way too many close-ups at the expense of coherency of the scene: seeing Hitomi virtually ride her “lover” (in this case a pillow) from worm's eye will get your temperature up – seeing it three times in the same scene, it kind of loses its effect. There are also some things which are just plain stupid – at one point, one of the offscreen crew points a dryer at Hitomi's boobs, and blasts air at them for almost three minutes, causing them to deform. I am quite honestly not sure what the producers were going for here, but it fell flat. Another annoyance is an extended scene where Hitomi stands with her arms spread out and moves them in small circles. Of course, you're supposed to be paying attention to her jiggling tits, but the entire thing just looks ridiculous.

But, I hate to say it, the biggest issue with the disc is Hitomi's inexperience: it really takes away from the constructed fantasy when the model can't seem to focus on the scene, especially when the producers are obviously trying to push the mood in that direction. I hope she improves her camera presence to match her obvious physical presence, because that would be something to behold.

If you're a devout breast fetishist, the negatives mentioned above won't phase you: put on the DVD, turn down the lights, lock the door, get out the Astroglide and have yourself a good time. On the other hand, if you're a real gravure idol fan, the disc falls short in a lot of areas important to the genre and basically is more porn than not. There's no way I wouldn't recommend the disc if you're love big boobed idols, but be aware of the short comings. Ultimately, what I'd have to say about Bakunyū J No Shōgeki is this: don't believe the hype.